Meet the Re-inventor of My World

At the closing of this semester I felt a dreadful panic sweep over me, a panic that I was absolutely unable to confront the issues that lie before me. Overwhelmed by the decisions that will have to occur in these coming three months. I was terrified, as I sat in room 416 of Carter, and looked around at everyone with their gleaming faces, excited for the break, welcoming of Christmas, and looking forward to the next semester that I would sadly be missing out on. As I found myself in this state of fear and panic, all I could think about for that moment was what I didn‘t have. Feeling shamelessly sorry for myself, amidst a sea of exams and what seemed like the ending of an era of schooling and frolicky friendships, I headed home; my eyes full of tears.
Once I arrived home I headed upstairs to sit on my bed, to ponder my future decisions, and to attempt to study for exams. As I sat there on my down comforter, my hands laced over my bump of a stomach, I felt it- a gentle reminder from within. With one kick from my precious little boy, my thoughts, my self- pity, and my heart was melted and molded into what they should have been all along. A feeling of resolve and comfort swept over me as I realized the magnitude of his little words without words. He, unable to speak had spoken volumes with a gentle kick for his mom to remember just what she was to be thinking- that she was blessed immensely, that she was not incapable, that God would prepare her for whatever was to come. This little boy was in a sense holding his mother's hand from within the womb and with such a tender touch, telling her all was well.
Now of course this meant more tears as I was broken with the realization that I had lost sight of what I was to be focused on, that I should be so thankful for this little re-inventor of my world. He has already done such a great amount of things in my life. I am certain that he was no mistake, that the Lord knew exactly what he was doing when he placed this little life in me- he was awakening a dead me. He instilled a beautiful, little, growing life in me, not only physically but spiritually. The master of reinvention, the God who loves us enough to diligently reinvent who we our each and everyday through the cleansing of our filth and the shedding of light upon new things about him and our inabilities without him. He has blessed me with the gift of reinvention that is literally within me, growing, evolving, and reminding me with a gentle kick that he is there and so is his and my creator, daily reinventing our world.